Spooptoberfest: My Top Horror Movies of 2018

**These lists are in no particular order.**

Obviously, I was not able to watch EVERY horror movie released this year, but let me tell you, I suffered through a lot of bullshit. Some of these were so bad they damaged me mentally. The following are all the horror movies I watched that were released this year, and what I thought about them.

Sections:

  1. The Best
  2. Honorable Mentions
  3. “Eh, it was fine.”
  4. Hot Garbage
  5. Ones I Missed

 

The Best

I had originally planned on doing a “Top 10”, which quickly became a “Top 5”, which then just became 4.

Hereditary

mv5botu5mdg3ogitzwq1ny00zgvmltg2ytutmzbkyzq1ywiwzjlhxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvyntazmty4mda-_v1_sy1000_sx675_al_

Release Date: June 8th
Director: Ari Aster
Starring: Gabriel Byrne, Toni Collette, Milly Shapiro, Alex Wolff
Plot: After the tragic death of a loved one, a grieving family begins to uncover dark secrets and experience very weird shit.
Why it’s good: With one of my most favorite instances of “this went from 0-100 real quick”, Hereditary gives hope to the horror genre despite having a few cliches and some predictability. Also, the final 15 minutes had me sweating.
Interesting Fact: Many of the cast and crew view the film as a family drama more than a horror movie.
Best Line: “I never wanted to be your mother.”
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 89% Certified Fresh
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Original Screenplay

25-hereditary-review-w700-h700

 

Mandy

mv5bmjk1mjhmzwqtnzu3oc00nde4lthlodqtntdhzgm4m2e3mwzkxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymtmxodk2otu-_v1_

Release Date: September 14th
Director: Panos Cosmatos
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Andrea Riseborough, Linus Roache
Plot: After watching his wife burn alive, Nicholas Cage goes on a revenge spree.
Why it’s good: Fuck. This movie is absolutely insane. While it doesn’t have any jump scares, it does have religious cults, creative deaths, blood, and a creepy and very unsettling atmosphere. The cinematography, lighting effects, dialogue, and music all work together flawlessly. After the slow and very odd first half, the second hour of this movie goes off the fucking rails until the credits. Quite possibly my most favorite Nicholas Cage performance. Do not do drugs before watching this movie.
Interesting Fact: Prompted a five-minute standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival.
Best Line: “I’m your God now.”
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 93% Certified Fresh
Coffee Sip Score™: 9/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Original Screenplay, Nicholas Cage Leading Actor, Linus Roache Supporting Actor, Visual Effects, Music

mv5bztq0ztjinzytn2nlns00yjlilwewmgitmju1mjrkmtbmzwm0xkeyxkfqcgdeqxvyndu1mtu1ndq-_v1_sx1777_cr001777880_al_

Ghost Stories

mv5bmta4owq0ngytndgxnc00mzi4ltgznzktyzaxmdcymgi3otfmxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvyntiyodmzmza-_v1_sy1000_sx675_al_

Release Date: April 20th
Director: Jeremy Dyson, Andy Nyman
Starring: Andy Nyman, Martin Freeman,  Paul Whitehouse, Alex Lawther
Plot: Skeptical professor Phillip Goodman embarks on a trip to the terrifying after finding a file with details of three unexplained cases of apparitions.
Why it’s good: This movie is like someone telling spoopy stories around a campfire. There are plenty of spoops, all 3 stories were great but I wish they were longer, a very daunting atmosphere, an incredible twist, and the ending will leave you both looking over your shoulder and wanting to see it again to look for easter eggs.
Interesting Fact: The title of the film was misspelled as “Ghost Storeis” in much of the pre-release media. This was done to accord with the production’s tagline “The brain sees what it wants to see”
Best Line: “Do you believe in evil, Professor? I didn’t, until that night.”
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 83% Certified Fresh
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Original Screenplay

mv5bywzlndi1ogutmgy0nc00yzc1lwflotktzgm1mgzkmmrjzwyzxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymju0mdc3mdg-_v1_

 

A Quiet Place

mv5bmji0mdmzntq0m15bml5banbnxkftztgwmtm5nzm3ndm-_v1_sy1000_cr006741000_al_

Release Date: April 6th
Director: John Krasinski
Starring: Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Millicent Simmonds, Noah Jupe
Plot: In the near future, a family is forced to live in silence while hiding from monsters with ultra-sensitive hearing.
Why it’s good: A very creative and original post-apocalyptic monster movie. I absolutely loved the monster design, the music was great, there are plenty of spoops, I was careful about making noise in my own house, and I wouldn’t last a day in that universe.
Interesting Fact: The filmmakers purchased twenty tons of corn and hired local farmers to grow it.
Best Line: “Who are we if we can’t protect them? We have to protect them.”
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 95%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Original Screenplay, Directing, Sound

mv5bmtcwndkyntg1mv5bml5banbnxkftztgwmda1mzqxntm-_v1_sx1500_cr001500999_al_

 

Honorable Mentions

The following movies were ones that were not good enough to make the “Best” list but were good enough to at least mention.

 

The Endless

mv5bnja5oti1mjgwml5bml5banbnxkftztgwmdu2nzy2ndm-_v1_sy999_cr00676999_al_

Release Date: April 6
Director: Justin Benson, Aaron Moorhead
Starring: Justin Benson, Aaron Moorhead
Plot: Years after two brothers escape a cult… they go back… what can go wrong?
Why it’s good: The performances, visuals, and cinematography are all pretty well done, and the atmosphere and mystery were what kept me interested.
Why it didn’t make the list: After a certain point the writing starts to suffer and it becomes predictable, and people that seek spoops will get bored easily.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 94% Certified Fresh
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10

mv5bmwviowi2ztktmjy4ny00mgnhltg0nmuty2fhm2rlntgwotexl2ltywdll2ltywdlxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvynjewntm2mzc-_v1_sx1777_cr001777740_al_

 

Insidious: The Last Key

mv5bmtuxodu0njq2nl5bml5banbnxkftztgwmtc4ndq0mzi-_v1_sy1000_cr006311000_al_

Release Date: January 5th
Director: Adam Robitel
Starring: Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson
Plot: More misadventures of Elise and her dynamic duo partners.
Why it’s good: It has plenty of spoops and features our favorite demon-hunting old lady.
Why it didn’t make the list: The atmosphere isn’t as creepy as it’s predecessors, the writing is goofy, and basically it lacks the one thing that made the first two great: James Wan.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 32%
Coffee Sip Score™: 6/10

mv5bmtcwnzy5ntu4ov5bml5banbnxkftztgwndk2njq0mzi-_v1_sy1000_cr0014981000_al_

Winchester

mv5bmji2owe5ogitmte4yi00zmizlthjzdctntu1otmxmtc3yjg4xkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymjm4ntm5ndy-_v1_sy1000_cr006311000_al_

Release Date: February 2nd
Director: Michael Spierig & Peter Spierig (The Spierig Brothers)
Starring: Helen Mirren, Sarah Snook,  Jason Clarke
Plot: A psychiatrist is sent to the Winchester Mansion to determine the condition of the headmistress, Sarah Winchester. Instead, he uncovers that the mansion is haunted and that there is a method behind Sarah’s madness.
Why it’s good: The production set and atmosphere are quite creepy, there’s an interesting twist, and the performances of all the characters feel natural.
Why it didn’t make the list: The spoops in this movie started off strong, but they eventually became too predictable and too often. The writing also began to suffer in the second half.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 14%
Coffee Sip Score™: 6/10

mv5byzlhymm4zjgtzjjhzi00zjlkltkwmjatnmjkodi4ntk4ymvhxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvyndg2mjuxnjm-_v1_sy1000_cr0015001000_al_

The Devil’s Doorway

mv5bytg5mgq3mwytzjjjzc00mdg2ltgznjqtn2i2zgy1nme5njq5xkeyxkfqcgdeqxvyody3nzc0otk-_v1_sy1000_cr006871000_al_

Release Date: July 13th
Director: Aislinn Clarke
Starring:  Lalor Roddy, Helena Bereen, Ciaran Flynn, Lauren Coe
Plot: Two priests are sent to investigate a crying Virgin Mary statue at a women’s home in Ireland. After a few days, they realize Satan has found his way there also.
Why it’s good: The production set and atmosphere are quite creepy, and the performance of Lalor Roddy stands out among the rest.
Why it didn’t make the list: Since when is a statue of the Virgin Mary crying blood a miracle? The spoops in this movie started off strong, but eventually, you just get tired of what’s going on.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 81%
Coffee Sip Score™: 6/10

Halloween (2018)

mv5bmmmznjjhyjutnzfkzi00mwq4lwjimdetywm0ntazngzjmti3xkeyxkfqcgdeqxvyote2otmwndk-_v1_

Release Date: October 19th
Director: David Gordon Green
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak
Plot: Ya boi Michael Myers comes back to Haddenfield 40 years after the original Babysitter Murders to cause more shenanigans.
Why it’s good: It was nice to finally be able to see Michael Myers on the big screen, and he was even more brutal than I was expecting him to be. The music was on point, and I noticed plenty of references to the original 1978 version as well as the original Halloween II.
Why it didn’t make the list: I couldn’t help but compare it too much to the original. (It didn’t help that Jamie Lee Curtis even said this movie lived up to the original.) The atmosphere of dread and suspense was not there, some dialogue was too comedic, I didn’t care about any character aside from Michael or Laurie (In fact I hated most of them.), and I believe that even the cinematography wasn’t scary like it was in the original.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 79% Certified Fresh
Coffee Sip Score™: 7/10

mv5bmtu5otuyndgwmv5bml5banbnxkftztgwmjgzmjcynjm-_v1_sx1500_cr001500999_al_

 

Still/Born

mv5bnzgwotkzote5mv5bml5banbnxkftztgwndcxmzy1ndm-_v1_sy1000_cr006741000_al_

Release Date: February 9th
Director: Brandon Christensen
Starring: Christie Burke, Jesse Moss
Plot: After giving birth to twins, only 1 survives, and the mother falls into postpartum depression and begins to believe a demon is after her remaining newborn son.
Why it’s good: There are plenty of spoops, the atmosphere is creepy, some of the dialogue is dark, and the music is pretty good.
Why it didn’t make the list: I got bored by the end, there are a lot of cliches, and Christie Burke’s character began to annoy me.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 70%
Coffee Sip Score™: 7/10

mv5byjg3mdblzmytzmvhmy00ymjjlwi4mtmtnduzzjg5zdfmowi4xkeyxkfqcgdeqxvynzi1nzmxnzm-_v1_

 

Apostle

mv5bmty1ndk0nji4mv5bml5banbnxkftztgwnjuynzmwnjm-_v1_sy1000_cr006741000_al_

Release Date: October 12th
Director: Gareth Evans
Starring: Dan Stevens, Richard Elfyn, Paul Higgins
Plot: A brother joins a cult to try to save his kidnapped sister.
Why it’s good: While lacking any jump scares, the dialogue, music, atmosphere, and set design are all well-crafted enough to keep one immersed.
Why it didn’t make the list: I felt like the writing got lost within itself, which led to me getting bored, and I didn’t care about any character.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 80% Certified Fresh
Coffee Sip Score™: 7/10

 

Possum

mv5bngq1mgfjnmqtzgvloc00nty4ltgwzgityjcyywi2mtu4zwe5xkeyxkfqcgdeqxvynzywnzaxmjm-_v1_sy1000_cr006751000_al_

Release Date: October 26th
Director: Matthew Holness
Starring: Sean Harris
Plot: A puppeteer goes through some really fucked up shit.
Why it’s good: Sean Harris is great, it has the scariest puppet I’ve ever seen, plenty of jump scares in the second half, a disturbing soundtrack, and symbolism out the wazoo forcing you to put the pieces together after the credits begin to roll.
Why it didn’t make the list: If you’re not a movie “watcher” (i.e. analyzing all the aspects of filmmaking), you will probably not like this movie, it’s a bit of a snoozefest, and the soundtrack can get annoying with its high pitched rings. (Although I think that’s on purpose.)
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 85%
Coffee Sip Score™: 7/10

mv5bodkzzdjlzwutotbjmy00zgeylwi4m2itywu5zmq0njezzdy4xkeyxkfqcgdeqxvynzywnzaxmjm-_v1_sx1777_cr001777960_al_

 

“Eh, it was fine.”

The following titles are ones that I found weren’t great, but also weren’t terrible. They were just fine, nothing to rave about.

Hot Garbage

The following titles are ones that I found to be very bad, disappointing, mentally damaging, and/or boring, and I absolutely do not recommend them.

 

The Ones I Missed

Unofficial Blog Sponsor: Snapple

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.