The Year in Movies: 2019 (Q1 – Q3)

Every year Hollywood, Independent Studios, and Foreign Studios collectively release well over 500 movies. You could watch 2 movies per day every day of the year and still have over 100 movies you missed. Some of them are great, others not so great. With so many movies being released, I’ve taken the liberty of watching as many as I could with the time I’m given so that I could let readers like you know which movies they should watch, ones they would be better off missing, and ones that may be straight-up harmful.

Below are lists of all the movies I watched that were released this year: “The Best” section offers insights on films I think are great and should be watched by everyone, “Honorable Mentions” are ones I thought were fine but had so much hype build around them I felt like they needed some explanation as to what I did and did not like about them, the “Eh, it was fine” section list films that are most likely to be forgettable, the “Disappointments” list is self explanatory, and finally “Hot Garbage” is a list of films that should not have been made and I absolutely do not recommend any of them.

I hope you enjoy.

Sections:

  1. The Best
  2. Honorable Mentions
  3. “Eh, It Was Fine”
  4. Disappointments
  5. Hot Garbage
  6. Final Tally (with Honest Consensus)
  7. The (Big) Ones I Missed

The Best

 

Avengers: Endgame

Don Cheadle, Robert Downey Jr., Josh Brolin, Bradley Cooper, Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Brie Larson, Jeremy Renner, Paul Rudd, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Danai Gurira, and Karen Gillan in Avengers: Endgame (2019)

Release Date: April 26th
Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo
Writer: Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely
Starring: Literally everyone from the MCU from the last 11 years.
Plot: The finale to the MCU Infinity Saga.
Why it’s good: The culmination of the past 11 years. Even if you don’t care for these movies, you can not deny this is the biggest cinematic feat in all of film history. An absolute emotional nostalgic rollercoaster through this incredible 3-hour adventure. Thor was at his prime in this, I am genuinely worried that we will never have a Thor as good as this again. (I hope to God he is in Guardians Vol. 3 and he is still fat.) I was very happy that these guys did time travel the way they did. (Check out my video here: https://youtu.be/BaQkFUfBwIw) Everything leads up to an incredibly shot, scored, and performed finale that is both satisfying and emotionally exhausting. The final act had me losing my shit.
Best Line: “Avengers… Assemble”
Best Moment: Everything that happens from the start of the final battle until the credits.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 94%
Coffee Sip Score™: 9.5/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Please for the love of god give them Visual Effects. And honestly, just for the fun and for the fact I’d campaign the fuck out of it… Best Picture.

Don Cheadle, Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Taika Waititi, Bradley Cooper, Chris Evans, Elizabeth Olsen, Chris Pratt, Paul Rudd, Mark Ruffalo, Benedict Wong, Anthony Mackie, Chris Hemsworth, Dave Bautista, Benedict Cumberbatch, Chadwick Boseman, Sebastian Stan, Tessa Thompson, Pom Klementieff, Letitia Wright, Tom Holland, and Winston Duke in Avengers: Endgame (2019)

 

Dragon Ball Super: Broly (English Dub)

Ryô Horikawa and Masako Nozawa in Doragon bôru chô: Burorî - Dragon Ball Super: Broly (2018)

Release Date: January 16th
Director: Tatsuya Nagamine
Writer: Akira Toriyama
Starring: Sean Schemmel, Christopher Sabat, Chris Ayres, Vic Mignogna
Plot: Goku & Vegeta must fight against a new Sayain named Broly.
Why it’s good: If you’re a fan of Dragon Ball, this is a no brainer. If you’ve never seen anything Dragon Ball before in your life, this would be very confusing. Obviously, I’m the former, and therefore I have a huge bias. While this does have questionable CGI and not many characters (Emperor Pilaf is in this… but Gohan is not even mentioned.), it is awesome. I honestly don’t know what else to say, maybe because I’m not used to critiquing animated movies. It’s more Dragon Ball action that we’ve all come to love, a new and better Broly origin story, hilarious, an incredible scene where Broly goes super sayain, and I will always jump at the chance to see Goku on the big screen. I hope they continue making more and I honestly will not care what the plot is.
Interesting Fact: The hype for this film was so high that the tickets were sold out in Japan, 5 months before the official release.
Best Moment: The entire movie.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 80%
Coffee Sip Score™: 9/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: LOL could you imagine?

Vic Mignogna, Masako Nozawa, Sean Schemmel, and Bin Shimada in Doragon bôru chô: Burorî - Dragon Ball Super: Broly (2018)

 

Brexit: The Uncivil War

Benedict Cumberbatch in Brexit: The Uncivil War (2019)

Release Date: January 19th
Director: Toby Haynes
Writer: James Graham
Starring: Benedict Cumberbatch
Plot: The story of how Brexit came into fruition.
Why it’s good: Smartly written, wacky pacing and atmosphere, and well-acted performances help us watch everything that led up to one of the craziest events in history.
Interesting Fact: Despite himself being a ‘remain’ advocate, Benedict Cumberbatch only agreed to do the film after he had been assured by James Graham, who wrote Brexit: The Uncivil War, over a meeting that it is not going to end up being a ‘pro-EU stitch-up.’
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 82%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

Benedict Cumberbatch in Brexit: The Uncivil War (2019)

 

Fyre / Fyre Fraud (Netflix / Hulu Fyre Fest Documentaries)

*I included both because they’re both good. Both have things the other doesn’t.

Fyre (2019)Fyre Fraud (2019)

Release Date: January 14th (Hulu) / January 18th (Netflix)
Director: Jenner Furst, Julia Willoughby Nason (Hulu) / Chris Smith (Netflix)
Plot: The story of quite possibly the biggest scandal of the millennial generation.
Why they’re good: You have to see it to believe it. A popular rapper and an insane con artist team up to launch the biggest music festival since Woodstock. As things go wrong one after another, it’s absolutely insane to see how everyone defends not shutting the festival down, and what the people actually go through once they arrive. Anyone else get Tanacon vibes from this?
Interesting Fact #1: Billy McFarland agreed to appear in the [Hulu] documentary on condition that he be paid.
Interesting Fact #2: I swear to God I never heard about this whole story until these documentaries.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 76% (Hulu) / 92% (Netflix)
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: One of them should get Documentary Feature

 

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World

Jay Baruchel in How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019)

Release Date: February 22nd
Director: Dean DeBlois
Writer: Dean DeBlois
Plot: When Toothless gets a girlfriend and a new threat arises, it is up to Hiccup to decide the fate of both the Dragons and the people of Berg.
Why it’s good: Colorful, beautiful animation, epic soundtrack, action-packed, hilarious, smoothly paced, and an ending that almost made me lose my shit.
Interesting Fact: With a running time of 104 minutes, this is DreamWorks Animations longest film.
Best Line:
Hiccup: You brought a baby to a battle?
Fishlegs: I couldn’t find a sitter.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 91%
Coffee Sip Score™: 9/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Best Animated Feature

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019)

 

Us

Release Date: March 22nd
Director: Jordan Peele
Writer: Jordan Peele
Starring: Lupita Nyong’o, Winston Duke, Shahadi Wright Joseph, Evan Alex
Plot: A family vacation to the beach gets fucking weird.
Why it’s good: Unlike its predecessor, I don’t think Us really offers that much in terms of subtext. Yes, there are things that relate to each other throughout the movie, and upon a second viewing you see those connections (i.e. we can theorize who else was a Tethered before the invasion, etc.), but I think that’s it. No crazy shit like we were able to do with Get Out. It’s honestly pretty straight forward and I think this movie got over-hyped. Don’t get me wrong though, Us is a good time. It’s phenomenally performed, beautifully shot, hilarious, bloody, and has a perfectly chilling score. Enjoy it for what it is, don’t get all English Teacher with it.
Interesting Fact: Lupita Nyong’o based Red’s voice on Robert F. Kennedy Jr and specifically the spasmodic dysphonia he suffers from.
Best Line: “OK. Playing “Fuck tha Police” by N.W.A.”
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 94%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Lupita Nyong’o for Best Actress, Original Screenplay

Evan Alex in Us (2019)

 

Isn’t It Romantic

Rebel Wilson in Isn't It Romantic (2019)

Release Date: February 13th
Director: Todd Strauss-Schulson
Writer: Erin Cardillo, Dana Fox, Katie Silberman
Starring: Rebel Wilson, Liam Hemsworth, Adam Devine
Plot: Rebel Wilson gets stuck in a PG-13 rom-com… and she is aware of it.
Why it’s good: I was surprised that I enjoyed this movie. All the performances were fine, great script, lots of familiar faces, and the meta-humor was hilarious.
Best Line: “What? How… how did we get here so fast? That was, like, 18 seconds.”
Interesting Fact: During test screenings, Rebel Wilson would wear a wig and sunglasses and sneak into the back to hear feedback from the audience.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 69%
Coffee Sip Score™: 7/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

The Legend of Cocaine Island

Rodney Hyden in The Legend of Cocaine Island (2018)

Release Date: March 29th
Director: Theo Love
Starring: Bo Butterworth, Bri Bryant, Andy Culpepper
Plot: A goofy looking dad goes on a quest for $2 million dollars of cocaine.
Why it’s good: Okay well first of all anything involving cocaine I already find hilarious. But this documentary tells a crazy (but very predictable) story that genuinely feels like it can’t be real. You got a guy down in the dumps, a crazy accomplice, a drug lord, adventure, and betrayal. It so wild I swear to god.
Best Line: “If you knew where $2 million was buried in the ground, would you dig the shit up? Fuck, yeah I would. And I did it one time.”
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 78%
Coffee Sip Score™: 9/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Unfortunately Not

Pokémon Detective Pikachu

Ryan Reynolds and Justice Smith in Pokémon Detective Pikachu (2019)

Release Date: May 10th
Director: Rob Letterman
Writer: Dan Hernandez, Benji Samit, Rob Letterman, Derek Connolly
Starring: Justice Smith, Kathryn Newton, Ryan Reynolds
Plot: A boy and a Pikachu team up to solve a mystery.
Why it’s good: Finally, a video game movie worth seeing. Detective Pikachu doesn’t waste time building a world literally everyone is already familiar with. I loved the look of all the Pokémon, but, of course, I wish there were more. I could definitely see this movie as being an experiment. So now that it did very well (in comparison to other VGMs), they could expand greatly on this universe/concept. The trailer for this movie was stupid and spoiled a lot, but regardless it was still cute, funny, asinine (in a good way), predictable, and visually pleasing.
Best Line: “Well, I’m actually pretty good at being alone at night.”
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 64%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Visual Effects

Ryan Reynolds and Justice Smith in Pokémon Detective Pikachu (2019)

Booksmart

Booksmart (2019)

Release Date: May 24th
Director: Olivia Wilde
Writer: Emily Halpern, Sarah Haskins, Susanna Fogel, Katie Silberman
Starring: Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein
Plot: Two high school senior girls realize they’ve focused too much on getting good grades and try to cram 4 years of fun into one night.
Why it’s good: I’m normally biased against high school movies, but Booksmart‘s hilarious writing, perfect cast, and quick pacing all helped me look past that.
Best Line: I can’t pick one the whole script was great.
Interesting Fact: Screenwriter Katie Silberman said that Billie Lourd did such an impressive performance that extra scenes were written specifically for her.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 98%
Coffee Sip Score™: 9/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Original Screenplay

Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever in Booksmart (2019)

 

Murder Mystery

Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler in Murder Mystery (2019)

Release Date: June 14th
Director: Kyle Newacheck
Writer: James Vanderbilt
Starring: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston
Plot: …it’s a… murder mystery.
Why it’s good: Cute, light-hearted, nicely paced, genuinely funny at times, cliche, Adam Sandler is really goofy, and it’s just overall a nice chill film. Watch this instead of 13 Reasons Why 3.
Interesting Fact: This movie set a new Netflix record. In the first three days, 30,869,863 accounts watched the film – 13,374,914 North American accounts and an additional 17,494,949 accounts watching worldwide.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 45%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

Jennifer Aniston, Adam Sandler, and Luke Evans in Murder Mystery (2019)

 

Shazam!

Zachary Levi in Shazam! (2019)

Release Date: April 5th
Director: David F. Sandberg
Writer: Henry Gayden
Starring: Asher Angel, Jack Dylan Grazer, Zachary Levi, Mark Strong
Plot: A fourteen-year-old boy obtains the power of a superhero by uttering just his name.
Why it’s good: This actually surprised me. I thought the trailer was bad, and because… well it’s a DC Movie so… yeah. But after watching it, I can say that these 2 hours are fun, genuinely funny, and proves that DC movies can be lighthearted and goofy while still having some very dark moments.
Best Line: Are you making some, like, big, evil-guy speech right now or somethin’? You’re like a mile away from me, and there’s traffic and cars and stuff! All I see is mouth-movin’!
Interesting Fact: Shazam is an acronym formed from the names of the gods that grant powers: (Solomon – Wisdom. Hercules – Strength. Atlas – Stamina. Zeus – Power. Achilles – Courage. Mercury – Speed).
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 91%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

Zachary Levi and Jack Dylan Grazer in Shazam! (2019)

 

Midsommar

Midsommar (2019)

Release Date: April 5th
Director: Ari Aster
Writer: Ari Aster
Starring: Florence Pugh, Jack Reynor, William Jackson Harper, Vilhelm Blomgren, Will Poulter
Plot: Four friends travel to their foreign friend’s home village for their mid-summer festival.
Why it’s good: One of my most anticipated movies for this year did not disappoint. This movie wasn’t really at all scary for me, it is kind of a cliche cult movie, and there were HEAVY The Wicker Man (both versions) vibes, but hot damn it was good. The cinematography was easily the best of the year so far, making this movie extremely visually pleasing with all of the vibrant colors. Jack Reynor’s character is seriously not a good person by any means. The score was daunting, the performances were on point: Florence Pugh is ♥♥♥, I’m going to put William Harper on my radar, and it was hard to take Will Poulter seriously. The pacing was very slow, however, the 2.5-hour runtime went by pretty quickly for me, either because I was incredibly invested or the recliner I sat in was super comfortable. I really do want to see this a second time to see what all I missed.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 83%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Cinematography, production design, score, original screenplay

Florence Pugh in Midsommar (2019)

 

Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood

Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Al Pacino, Kurt Russell, Damon Herriman, Timothy Olyphant, Harley Quinn Smith, Mike Moh, and Margot Robbie in Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood (2019)

Release Date: July 26th
Director: Quentin Tarantino
Writer: Quentin Tarantino
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie
Plot: A washed-up actor and his best friend/co-worker try to become relevant again during the end of the ’60s.
Why it’s good: Beautiful cinematography,  score, and production design, a grand cast, funny, and an ending that goes from 0-100 instantly. Movies are awesome.
Best Line: “Anybody accidentally kills anybody in a fight, they go to jail. It’s called manslaughter.”
Interesting Fact: Tarantino considers the screenplay of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood as “probably his most personal.”
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 89%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯:  Best Lead Actor for Leo, Margot Robbie Supporting Actress, Brad Pit Supporting Actor, production design, cinematography, sound

Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio in Once Upon a Time ... in Hollywood (2019)

 

Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus

Invader ZIM: Enter the Florpus (2019)

Release Date: August 16th
Director: Young Kyun Park; Jhonen Vasquez; Hong-Seung Yoon
Writer: Breehn Burns; Jhonen Vasquez; Gary Wilson
Starring: Richard Steven Horvitz, Andy Berman, Rodger Bumpass, Rikki Simons
Plot: Zim discovers his leaders never liked him and he loses confidence in himself for the first time in his life, which is the big break his human nemesis, Dib has been waiting for.
Why it’s good: Despite feeling more like a series finale than a reboot, Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus is exciting, dark, beautiful, and absolutely hilarious.
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: LOL Could you imagine?

 

Ready or Not

Andie MacDowell, Henry Czerny, Adam Brody, Nicky Guadagni, John Ralston, Elyse Levesque, Melanie Scrofano, Mark O'Brien, Kristian Bruun, Samara Weaving, Daniela Barbosa, Celine Tsai, and Hanneke Talbot in Ready or Not (2019)

Release Date: August 21st
Director: Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett
Writer: Guy Busick, Ryan Murphy
Starring: Samara Weaving
Plot: After getting married to a rich family, a poor girl becomes the subject of their weird traditions.
Why it’s good: You got a dark atmosphere, comedy, dark comedy, wacky dialogue, a gorgeous main protagonist, an evil cult, a family game of hide and seek, blood, gore, and death. It’s a good time, what else you want?
Interesting Fact: Despite looking very much alike, the main character of this film is not Margot Robbie.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 87%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

 

The Wind

Caitlin Gerard in The Wind (2018)

Release Date: April 5th
Director: Emma Tammi
Writer: Teresa Sutherland
Starring: Caitlin Gerard
Plot: In the middle of no-where, a woman must find a way to battle the darkness of the land alone.
Why it’s good: A seemingly slow-burn movie actually has one of the most badass and smart female protagonists I’ve seen in a horror movie, an eerie score, beautiful production design and cinematography, and plenty of terrifying and effective scares. There was a scene that had me shaking.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 82%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

Caitlin Gerard in The Wind (2018)

 

Honorable Mentions

The movies in this section were ones that should belong in the “Eh, it was fine” section, but I feel that they at the very least deserve an explanation as to what I did and did not like.

Glass

Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Willis, and James McAvoy in Glass (2019)

Release Date: January 18th
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Writer: M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: James McAvoy, Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson
Plot: David Dunn is back to track down Kevin Crumb. But when Elijah Price also returns, things get real shitty real fast.
Why it’s good: James, Bruce, and Samuel were perfect as predicted, several twists that lead to a satisfying ending, Anya Taylor-Joy is 😍, and enough plot structure to keep things going and interesting enough to see what happens next. That’s it. Honestly, it was James McAvoy’s performance, the ending, and the hype that a movie from 2000 is getting a sequel that allowed me to enjoy this.
Why it didn’t make the list: Definitely didn’t live up to the hype, wonky dialogue, questionable pacing, a boring middle, and David Dunn didn’t shine as much as I was hoping.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 36%
Coffee Sip Score™: 7/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: lol no

Velvet Buzzsaw

Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)

Release Date: February 1st
Director: Dan Gilroy
Writer: Dan Gilroy
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Zawe Ashton, Rene Russo, Daveed Diggs
Plot: After a series of paintings by an unknown artist is discovered, weird shit begins to happen to those that take monetary advantage of them.
Why it’s good: Original, creepy, a few jump-scares, and lots of familiar faces.
Why it didn’t make the list: The performances and writing suffered bad enough to make these 2 hours drag.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 65%
Coffee Sip Score™: 7/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

Will Arnett, Elizabeth Banks, Charlie Day, Nick Offerman, Chris Pratt, Alison Brie, Tiffany Haddish, and Stephanie Beatriz in The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019)

Release Date: February 8th
Director: Mike Mitchell
Writer: Phil Lord, Christopher Miller
Starring: Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett
Plot: 5 years after the events of the first movie, Emmit and crew journey to find the source of the evil Duplo’s power.
Why it’s good: More adventures of Emmit and crew, a very strong beginning, visually pleasing, funny, colorful, heartwarming, and lots of references for all ages.
Why it didn’t make the list: This should be obvious, it was nowhere near as magical and fun as the first movie, the writing was eh, not as quotable [as the first], it has geared more towards kids but kept references for adults (For example: a certain character does a certain popular dance move from a certain popular video game, but then there is a heavy, yet hilarious, Die Hard reference.), a lot of musical and “real world” parts that were used for time addition became annoying, and a very questionable twist towards the end. I hope they don’t try to milk this.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 83%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

Elizabeth Banks and Chris Pratt in The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part (2019)

Captain Marvel

Brie Larson in Captain Marvel (2019)

Release Date: March 8th
Director: Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck
Writer: Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck, Geneva Robertson-Dworet, Nicole Perlman, Meg LeFauve
Starring: Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn, Jude Law
Plot: Vers, a Kree from the planet Hala, becomes stranded on Earth with a group of alien shapeshifters called Skrulls.
Why it’s good: More MCU lore, every character that wasn’t Carol Danvers were phenomenal, the chemistry between Fury and Danvers was perfect, the personality of the Skrull surprised me, but I came to like them a lot, a twist that saves the movie, an action-packed and smooth second half, and a heartbreaking Stan Lee commemoration.
Why it didn’t make the list: I wouldn’t necessarily say Brie Larson was bad, it was just the directing and writing for her character that was awful, I hated the smug look she had the entire movie, the dialogue for everyone was poorly written, every scene before she lands on Earth was horribly paced, there was no world building when it came to the Kree, and a very bad post-credit scene.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 79%
Coffee Sip Score™: 6/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

Samuel L. Jackson and Brie Larson in Captain Marvel (2019)

See You Yesterday

Eden Duncan-Smith and Dante Crichlow in See You Yesterday (2019)

Release Date: May 17th
Director: Stefon Bristol
Writer: Fredrica Bailey, Stefon Bristol
Starring: Eden Duncan-Smith, Dante Crichlow
Plot: Two friends discover time travel.
Why it’s good: A cute little Netflix movie. Genuinely funny dialogue, well-acted, well-paced, and thought-provoking.
Why it didn’t make the list: Time travel is stupid; as is the end of this movie.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 92%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

The Professor and the Madman

Mel Gibson and Sean Penn in The Professor and the Madman (2019)

Release Date: May 10th
Director: Farhad Safinia
Writer: John Boorman, Todd Komarnicki, Farhad Safinia
Starring: Natalie Dormer, Mel Gibson, Sean Penn
Plot: A professor takes on the challenge of creating the first Oxford Dictionary when he realizes… that it’ll be really hard.
Why it’s good: Lots of familiar faces, adequate performances, I always love seeing Natalie Dormer ♡♡♡, and I aspire to have Mel’s beard.
Why it didn’t make the list: It should come as obvious that a movie about the creation of the Oxford dictionary in the mid-1800s will have an overloaded and overwritten script that focuses more on dialogue than the story.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 43%
Coffee Sip Score™: 7/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

Mel Gibson and Sean Penn in The Professor and the Madman (2019)

 

Spiderman: Far From Home

Tom Holland in Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)

Release Date: July 2nd
Director: Jon Watts
Writer: Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers
Starring: Tom Holland, Zendaya, Jake Gyllenhaal
Plot: 8 months after the events of Endgame, Peter and his classmates go on a tour of Europe. Peter takes this opportunity to make his move on MJ, but Nick Fury and a new mysterious man intervene.
Why it’s good: Light-hearted, goofy, genuinely hilarious, questionable CGI and story writing, and perfect chemistry between all the characters. This movie could’ve been just a teen rom-com with no action and it still would’ve been just as good.
Why it didn’t make the list: I honestly don’t care about the MCU anymore after the emotional rollercoaster and perfect ending of Endgame. I just thought of this movie as one giant post-credit scene. Speaking of which, the post-credit scene of this movie was absurd in my opinion and if the narrative goes in that direction it will turn me away even more.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 91%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

Jake Gyllenhaal, Numan Acar, and Tom Holland in Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)

On the Basis of Sex

Felicity Jones in On the Basis of Sex (2018)

Release Date: January 11th
Director: Mimi Leder
Writer: Daniel Stiepleman
Starring: Felicity Jones, Armie Hammer
Plot: We follow Ruth B Ginsburg from her first day at Harvard to tackling her first big case for equal rights.
Why it’s good: The performances were actually really good, the score was fine, and I feel this does a great job at showcasing a badass woman causing a pivotal moment in history.
Why it didn’t make the list: Please god no more biopics. I’m always biased against historical movies, the dialogue was a jumbled mess of intellectual law talk, and some moments just didn’t really matter and were added to increase runtime.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 72%
Coffee Sip Score™: 8/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

Felicity Jones, Justin Theroux, and Armie Hammer in On the Basis of Sex (2018)

 

Hobbs and Shaw

Jason Statham, Idris Elba, Dwayne Johnson, Eiza González, and Vanessa Kirby in Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)

Release Date: August 2nd
Director: David Leitch
Writer: Chris Morgan; Drew Pearce
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Vanessa Kirby, Idris Elba
Plot: Luke Hobbs and Deckard Shaw team up to save the world from a cyber-genetically enhanced Idris Elba.
Why it’s good: More F&F absurd action, I love Luke Hobbs, Locke and Air Marshall Dinkley must be canon characters now, and I was all 😍😍😍😍😍 for Vanessa Kirby.
Why it didn’t make the list: Can you guess? The writing wasn’t as good as the previous installments: the runtime didn’t need to be 2h 15min as some scenes were stretched out way too long. There were references to the past F&F movies but I was hoping for a cameo from at least one of the characters.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 66%
Coffee Sip Score™: 7/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: LOL No

 

Toy Story 4

Tom Hanks, Keanu Reeves, Tim Allen, Annie Potts, Tony Hale, Christina Hendricks, Keegan-Michael Key, Ally Maki, and Jordan Peele in Toy Story 4 (2019)

Release Date: June 21st
Director: Josh Cooley
Writer: Andrew Stanton; Stephany Folsom
Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Tony Hale, Annie Potts
Plot: The first big adventure of Woody with his new kid, Bonnie.
Why it’s good: Absolutely breathtaking animation and visuals, and some hilarious moments and dialogue. Bucky and ducky were hysterical. That’s seriously it from me. Although kudos to the makers for creating a quadrilogy of just-about-perfect movies.
Why it didn’t make the list: You know how the previous 3 were each meant for the same generation (3 was about Andy going to college and was released at the time I was getting ready for college)? Well, this one felt like it was for a new generation. The story just didn’t have the same epic adventure feeling the previous 3 had, the villain was stupid, and I got bored. There wasn’t nearly enough of the original cast, and Buzz just pissed me off. Maybe it was also the perfect and extremely emotional ending of 3.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 97%
Coffee Sip Score™: 7/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: It’ll be a battle to the death for B.A.F. between this and Frozen II.

 

It: Chapter 2

Bill Skarsgård in It Chapter Two (2019)

Release Date: September 6th
Director: Andy Muschietti
Writer: Gary Dauberman
Starring: Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, Bill Skarsgård
Plot: Twenty-seven years after the events of Chapter 1, the Losers Club (minus one) return to Derry to finish off Pennywise.
Why it’s good: An outstanding cast (seriously though, the way they were able to pick people that really did look like older versions of the kids was incredible), Bill Skarsgård was still perfect as Pennywise, straight-up child murder, some legitimate laughs, and a cute cameo from Stephan King himself.
Why it didn’t make the list: If you didn’t read the book, you may have a good time. Although I strongly encourage indulging yourself. But as for someone who did read the book, I noticed a strong decrease in the quality of the writing. I got really bored, there was a lack of effective scares, some of the lines were stupid, some of the delivery of those lines were very cringy, and I didn’t agree with some of the changes they made from the book.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 64%
Coffee Sip Score™: 5/10
Oscar Odds ¯\_(ツ)_/¯: Nah

Bill Skarsgård in It Chapter Two (2019)

 

“Eh, It Was Fine”

The following titles are ones that I found weren’t great, but also weren’t terrible. If someone were to ask me how these were, I would respond with, “eh, it was fine, nothing to rave about” or “Oh yeah I completely forgot about that movie.”

  • Reign of the Supermen
  • American Hangman
  • The Upside
  • Leaving Neverland Parts 1&2
  • Triple Frontier
  • Dragged Across Concrete
  • Pet Semetary
  • The Highwaymen
  • I Hate Kids
  • Justice League vs. The Fatal Five
  • The Kid Who Would Be King
  • The Perfect Date
  • Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile
  • IO
  • Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark
  • I Trapped the Devil
  • Happy Death Day 2U
  • Annabelle Comes Home

Disappointments

These movies were ones that I was hoping would be great, but ended up coming in way below expectations. And I put them in their own category instead of Hot Garbage because I want people to know I had high hopes for these, and I was let down. And I’m sad about it.

  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters
  • Men in Black: International

Hot Garbage

The following titles are ones that I found to be very bad and/or mentally damaging, and I absolutely do not recommend them.

  • Escape Room
  • The Prodigy
  • Alita: Battle Angel
  • Donnybrook
  • Serenity
  • Sgt. Will Gardner
  • Fighting with my Family
  • The Dirt
  • Replicas
  • Victoria Gotti: My Father’s Daughter
  • A Dog’s Way Home
  • Abduction
  • Polar
  • The Silence
  • Drunk Parents
  • What Men Want
  • Rim of the World
  • Real Cases of Shadow People: The Sarah McCormick Story
  • Welcome to Acapulco
  • Hellboy
  • Miss Bala
  • The Lion King (2019)
  • Brightburn
  • The Curse of La Llorona
  • Angel Has Fallen
  • Braid

The Final Tally

Best: 17
Honorable Mentions: 11
Eh, It Was Fine: 18
Disappointments: 2
Hot Garbage: 26

Total: 74

Honest Consensus (My opinion): We’ve entered the final stretch of 2019, Halloween has begun which means it’s almost Oscar season. The horror genre seems to have gone into hibernation after it’s 2018 spotlight year, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve nearly fallen asleep in the theater, and I am so sick and tired of bio-pics. However, the final act of Endgame still makes me tear up, Midsommar made my eyes melt, and Booksmart broke a huge genre bias I had.

 

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